Here I Am Again
by Shae-Lynn1
Summary: Set 2 years after "After We Fell Apart". CJ and Josh reconnect. Takes place late in Season 5 but goes A/U.
1. Here I Am Again

**A/N: So this is a sequel to After We Fell Apart, and is set in Season 5, just after No Exit, but goes A/U from there. This is more CJ/Josh and will get some M content in later chapters.**

**Thanks to CJ.T for her help with beta-ing and for being a great friend! **

**I hope you enjoy and I would appreciate any feedback you have!**

******

_So here I am again, coming in from the cold  
here I am again, humming your tune  
here I am again, just waiting around  
wishing, wishing I wasn't missing you_

-Chris Pureka – 3 A.M.

* * *

Josh's feet thudded on the pavement as he jogged up Connecticut Ave, heading to the trail at the ravine. The Sunday morning sky had only been grey when he'd got on the Metro, but now it was starting to drizzle and he stopped to zip up the black sweatshirt he was wearing over his white T-shirt and black shorts. That morning he'd been congratulating himself for getting up to go jogging but now the rain made him want to head right back home.

Looking around he realized he was at the entrance to the zoo, and it was open. Sometimes in the off-season he jogged around the zoo trails. This time of year he usually avoided it because of the crowds, but he hoped the weather would turn some of them off. Josh turned into the gate and grabbed a sip of water from the water fountain before setting off down the Asia trail. He had been right and there were only a few people around: locals and their kids – the more prepared ones in ponchos – and some determined tourists squinting at trail maps and huddling under umbrellas.

By the time he rounded the bird trail he had picked up the pace and could feel his heart pounding in his chest and sweat soaking through the back of his shirt. He reached the lion viewing area before a cramp forced him to stop and he bent over, trying to catch his breath, his hair now plastered to his face by the rain.

Looking up to see if he could find a place to sit for a minute he saw a couple standing by the edge of the lion pen. The woman was wearing a navy trench coat over form-fitting jeans and the man was holding an umbrella over them, his other arm wrapped around the woman's waist. The woman turned to look at the man. She was smiling, and Josh recognized her.

"CJ?" he said. Both CJ and the guy she was with turned – Josh guessed he must be her new boyfriend…Ken, or Ben? – and Josh immediately regretted drawing their attention to him. He realized by now he must look terrible, especially compared to how clean-cut this guy looked. And CJ, well CJ looked great: relaxed and happy.

She smiled and headed over to him, pulling Ken-or-Ben by his hand. Josh stood up, still feeling the cramp in his side.

"You okay there, Josh?" she asked with concern.

"Yeah," Josh said, "I'm good. Just doing my second lap and looking for a water fountain," he said, exaggerating smoothly.

"I think there's one by the tigers," the man offered, gesturing.

"Thanks."

"Oh, sorry. Have you two met? Josh, this is Ben. Josh and I work together," CJ explained. Ben extended his hand and Josh took it, giving him an unenthusiastic handshake. He couldn't place it, but he didn't think he liked this guy.

"Right. You're the important one, huh?" Ben joked.

"No, that's the President," Josh replied with an uneasy laugh. Inwardly he felt good that CJ had talked him up. Ben smiled and Josh saw him squeeze CJ's hand.

"Weren't you guys going camping this weekend or something?" Josh asked. CJ and Ben exchanged a look.

"Well there was the lockdown and things didn't really work out with that," CJ explained.

"Looks like we wouldn't have had good weather for it anyway, huh?" Ben observed. Josh couldn't help feeling the awkwardness setting in and imagined Ben hoped he'd get out of there so he could keep putting the moves on CJ. Josh wasn't sure why the thought pissed him off. "Well, I should go find that water fountain. Make sure you check out the gorillas."

"Thanks," Ben said.

"We still meeting tomorrow morning with Toby?" CJ called as he jogged off.

"Yeah. See you then," he called back. Maybe it was seeing CJ in an unexpected place, or seeing her with that guy, but as he headed back to the Metro Josh couldn't help the flash of a memory of her in a red dress, leaning in towards him, her breath warm against his cheek. But that was a couple of years ago; where had that come from?

He got home about an hour later, cold and wet and wanting to take a nap. He threw his wet clothes into the laundry and got into the shower. As the hot water ran over him, prickling his skin, he tried to pinpoint why he felt vaguely uneasy. It felt like something was nagging at him and he ran through his thoughts trying to remember if there was something he'd forgotten to do that weekend. He couldn't come up with an answer. He had dried off and changed into a clean set of grey sweats when he heard a knock at the door.

Peering through the spy hole, not sure who to expect, he sighed inwardly when he saw his next-door neighbour Maria, holding her fluffy Himalayan cat under one arm.

"Hi Maria," he said guiltily as he opened the door, "I completely forgot you were coming by." The irrepressible Maria Gomez was pushing 70 and had lived in Josh's complex for the last 20 years. Today she was wearing a pink sweater and grey slacks, her salt-and-pepper hair pulled back into a loose bun.

"Oh, I hope I'm not bothering you. I hope you're still okay to take Winston here for the week," she said, gesturing to the cat. "I know you're so busy I hated to even ask, but my son's out of town..."

"It's no problem, Maria," Josh interrupted, trying to make his smile look genuine and to avoid looking at the cat that he knew was going to cause him immense frustration for the next seven days. Josh looked at Winston and thought he saw the cat was glaring at him. "So do you want to bring him inside?"

"Oh yes! And I'll just run back to my place and grab his feeder, his food, and of course his litter box. I'm sure Winston will be a good boy for you, won't you, Winnie?" Josh smiled wanly.

"I'll hardly even know he's here." Maria bustled into Josh's apartment and Josh silently hoped she wasn't going to comment on the mess of work papers cluttering his counters and floor. She set Winston down on the couch and kissed the top of his head before heading back to her apartment to grab the rest of the cat's things.

When Maria had finally left after moving Winston's things in and giving Josh a huge list of emergency phone numbers, Josh sat down on the sofa. Out of the corner of his eye he could swear he could see Winston plotting something from where he was now perched on the side table. Still eyeing the cat suspiciously, he picked the cordless phone and called Donna's cell.

"Hi Donna." He sat down on the sofa and grabbed the TV remote with his free hand, putting on the football game on mute in the background.

"Josh? Is everything okay?" There were noises in the background: children's voices, music, and what sounded like a radio announcement.

"Yeah, except I forgot I agreed to look after the cat from Hell for the next week. Where are you?"

"I'm at Pentagon City looking for shoes for that state dinner on Tuesday. You're looking after Maria's cat again?"

"Yes. What was I supposed to say? She brings me cookies. Anyway, why am I meeting with CJ and Toby tomorrow morning?"

"About your cousin, remember?"

"My cousin…?" Josh began, then remembered it was a code phrase Leo had come up with for the Attorney General, who they suspected might be vacating his post for a job in the private sector. "Yeah. My cousin," he repeated.

"Couldn't that have waited until tomorrow?"

"I ran into CJ at the zoo this morning and she mentioned it. I thought I might need to prepare something."

"You mean get me to prepare something."

"Yeah, that."

"You were at the zoo? Did you see the baby panda?" Josh noticed the background noise dying down and he guessed Donna had stepped somewhere quieter.

"I was jogging. CJ was there with that guy, Ken."

"Ben," Donna corrected.

"Are you sure? I thought it was Ken. I guess he wasn't that memorable. You've met him?"

"Just briefly. I thought he seemed like a nice guy."

"Really? What's his story?" Josh asked nonchalantly.

"I think he's a park ranger. They met in college." Donna paused before adding, "Why do I feel like you actually called to ask me about CJ's boyfriend?"

"What? I called you to complain about the cat from Hell." But it was then that he pinpointed the nagging feeling: it was a dull sense of loneliness. But it couldn't be about running into CJ with that guy. They'd been thrown together at a rough time a couple of years ago. It hadn't lasted, and both of them had dated since then without a problem. And how would Donna even know?

"Okay. You know I know you guys had a thing, right?" _Oh God_, he thought.

"What? How would you know?" Josh asked defensively.

"I guessed and CJ indirectly confirmed it at the time. Are you sure you're not just jealous? I mean now you're single and she has someone?"

"I was just curious," he stated defensively, "How come women are allowed to talk about everybody's relationships all the time but as soon as a guy does, it has to mean he has some secret motive?"

"Okay. Sorry," Donna said, but since he couldn't see her face he couldn't tell if she was convinced. "Can I finish shoe shopping now?"

"Yeah. Go ahead," Josh said resignedly.

"See you," Donna said. Josh hung up and put the phone down on the side table. He leaned back on the sofa and un-muted the game.

* * *

Josh headed over to Toby's office shortly after dragging himself into work after an unsatisfying sleep, thanks to Winston the cat. CJ was already there, sitting on the couch in a grey-blue suit with a skirt, talking with Toby. She looked up at him when he came in and her face was immediately filled with concern.

"Oh my God, Josh. Are you okay? You look like something the cat dragged in." At CJ's words he reached up and touched the claw marks the cat had left on his forehead when he'd bent down to pick it up to move it off his backpack.

"Funny you should say that. I'm cat sitting. It isn't going well." Josh sat down on the sofa beside CJ with an air of defeat.

"Did the cat beat you up?" Toby asked, deadpanning.

"It's just this one cat. He's...."

"Your feline arch-nemesis?" came a voice from behind him. Josh turned and saw that Will was in the doorway.

"Exactly."

"Feline arch-nemesis?" CJ repeated, raising her eyebrows.

"Everyone has one," Will confirmed. "Actually, I have several."

"Are you here for a reason?" Toby asked.

"Yeah. Russell wanted to make a suggestion for the new AG."

"The old one's not gone yet," Josh pointed out.

"Isn't that what you're meeting about right now?"

"Yes, and we need to keep a tight lid on it until everything's ready, so the last thing we need is Bingo Bob Russell promising the position away," Toby argued.

"He knows that. And he just wanted to give you a name. Caroline Black. Just consider it, okay?" Will turned and left before Toby could reply.

"Caroline Black? She's practically a Republican."

"We should shut the door," CJ said. Josh got up. "She'd get confirmed," CJ observed once the door was closed.

"Aren't we getting ahead of ourselves? What we need to figure out is when we want the announcement to be and if we can stop Lazar from telling everyone about his new job until then," Josh said.

"The President spoke with him. He said he couldn't talk him out of it, but Lazar's committed to letting us set the timetable," CJ replied. "But we can't have the announcement until we know who the new guy or girl is." CJ crossed her legs towards Josh and he couldn't help his eyes drifting to the bare skin of her calf, her ankle almost touching his leg.

"Let's think of some names other than Caroline Black and we'll take them to Leo by the end of today," Toby suggested. Josh forced himself to look at Toby's face.

"Yeah. Sounds good."

* * *

After the meeting Josh was going to go back to his office but CJ grabbed his hand.

"Josh, come here," she said, pulling him with her towards her office.

"What is it?" Once they'd reached her office she reached up on her bookshelf and grabbed a white first aid kit off the shelf.

"Let's take care of that scratch," she said, gesturing to the mark on his forehead.

"I don't know. I think it makes me look cool. Like Harry Potter," Josh boasted.

"What?"

"Doesn't he have the...the thing on his head?"

"I wouldn't know. But I'm pretty sure he's also like 10-years-old. Now sit down," CJ ordered, pointing to the sofa. Josh sat obediently.

"You have a whole first aid kit in your office?" CJ pulled out some of the supplies and came and sat beside Josh.

"You would not believe the number of accidents a tall person has." She pulled out an antiseptic wipe and unwrapped the package. Gently she dabbed at his scratches, and Josh flinched at the cold sensation. "Hold still," she whispered, placing her free hand on his knee. The touch surprised him and he glanced at her face, but she just seemed to be concentrating on what she was doing, unconscious of the effect she was having on him. She balled up the antiseptic wipe in its wrapper and took the backing off a small bandage. With one hand she pushed his hair back off the cut, applying the bandage with the other. The light touch of her fingers on his head tingled like an electrical charge.

"There," she said, sitting back and smiling. Josh let out a breath and smiled.

"I'm fit for work now?"

"Looks like you'll live to fight another day," CJ confirmed. Josh couldn't get his feelings straight. Part of him thought he'd better just get out of there before he did something inappropriate, but he felt compelled to make some kind of gesture. It was like the electricity in her touch had welled up inside him and he needed to do something to ground it. So before standing up he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks, Ceej," he said sincerely as he got to his feet, avoiding looking to see her reaction.

"You're welcome," she said to his back as he headed out the door.

* * *

The afternoon was hectic but ended on a high note, with Leo agreeing to Josh and Toby's recommendation that they take the name of California State Attorney Mark Lau to the President to consider appointing him AG.

When Josh got home that night, exhausted, he opened the door tentatively and flicked on the light, trying to figure out where the cat was. Winston was curled up on the kitchen counter, purring happily.

"You'd better stay there tonight," Josh said, putting down his backpack and locking the door behind him. He went into his room, took off his clothes, and left them in a pile on the chair, pulling on a pair of boxer shorts before climbing into bed.

Tired as he was he found himself unable to sleep. He found his mind drifting, thinking of CJ's hand on his knee earlier that day, flashing to a memory of his hand on her knee under the table at a bar about two years ago. He remembered the red dress, her smile. It was amazing how clear the memories were even though he hadn't really thought about them since.

As exhaustion finally took over he pictured CJ lying in bed alone in her apartment tonight, staring at the ceiling like him. As his eyes began to close he realized she might not be alone; she might be with Ben. And even though he was barely conscious, he felt his heart sink a little at the thought.

* * *

**Let me know what you think so far!**


	2. Tangle

**Thanks for the feedback so far. Here's the next installment and I hope you'll review or message me to let me know what you think!**

* * *

CJ curled up on her side, facing the window. The wind had picked up and was blowing sheets of rain hard against the glass, almost drowning out the sound of Ben's faint snoring from the other side of the bed. Outside, slivers of dawn were beginning to show in the grey sky, and she realized she didn't have long before she'd have to get up for work. The night before she'd told Ben that she was too tired to make love after getting home from work at eleven, but she didn't think she'd gotten more than a couple of hours sleep the entire night. Her mouth felt dry, her eyes like they were glued open.

_What is wrong with me?_ she wondered. _This is good, right?_

Her mind kept wandering. Something was bothering her about the way Josh had been acting earlier. The kiss on the cheek could have just been a friendly gesture, but for some reason it had felt...charged. She chalked up the thought to exhaustion and went back to thinking about the man beside her.

He hadn't looked disappointed. She was already in her pyjamas: grey drawstring pants and a white T-shirt, when he came over. She'd met him at the door and leaned in to kiss him, but when his lips moved down to her neck and his rough hands began to work their way up under her shirt, she pulled back.

"Ben," she said apologetically, "I'm sorry. I'm just really tired." He hadn't looked disappointed. Instead he'd wrapped her in a hug.

"Anything you want to talk about?" She shook her head, knowing she couldn't discuss it with him. Even if she wanted to, she wasn't allowed to trust him with the stuff about the AG and searching his face she couldn't tell if it bothered him.

"No, just had a long day. You can still stay if you want, but I have to finish reading this thing. I'll be about twenty minutes," she explained apologetically.

"Want to come read it in bed?" She nodded and gave him a small smile.

"Sure."

Later, in bed, CJ could tell Ben was trying to stay awake but her reading took slightly longer than she predicted and looking over, she could see his eyes beginning to close.

"Go to sleep," she whispered, leaning over to give him a kiss on the forehead. He nodded and settled down into the blankets. He'd have the right to be annoyed in the morning. If she was going to read all night and barely even talk to him, why had she invited him over? But she knew he'd leave her place the next morning without putting any pressure on her, giving her an easy smile and a kiss on the cheek on his way out the door. It would be three hours before he had to be anywhere, but he wouldn't show any sign of being inconvenienced.

* * *

Toby stopped by CJ's office around nine and found her resting her head on her desk, eyes shut.

"Carol," he called, "I think CJ needs a coffee." CJ's lifted her head, startled.

"Shit! Toby." She blinked a few times, "What do you want?" she asked, stress showing in her voice.

"You okay?" he asked, putting his hands in his pockets.

"I didn't sleep much last night." Toby raised his eyebrows.

"Big night with Ranger Tim?"

"Ben," she corrected with an edge to her voice. "And no. I was reading that Interior Department report we commissioned. I mean, Ben was there, but that wasn't...why am I even explaining this to you?" Toby shrugged.

"Why are you?" CJ sighed.

"Why are you here?"

"The photo op with the French President."

"Yeah?"

"They want it moved outside to the balcony."

"The French? I thought they were the ones pushing to have it indoors. They said they were worried about his hair if it was windy."

"They changed their minds. I said yes. Let the press know?"

"Sure," CJ said resignedly. She picked up the phone, but then put it back, noticing Toby was still standing there. "Something else?" Toby stepped in and shut the door.

"You think Lau's a bad choice for AG," he stated. She raised her eyebrows.

"It's not that. I'm worried we don't have enough time to vet him."

"He used to be chief counsel for the ACLU. He's been the Attorney General for California for eight years, the first Asian-American State AG in the country. What more were you hoping for?"

"He has the qualifications, but he's been running practically unopposed and I don't know that he's ready for the scrutiny that's going to come at him. Do you want another Mendoza? I'm just trying to make sure we don't get blindsided."

"It's too late now. The President's calling him. You're gonna have to work with this."

"That's what Leo said."

"I know."

"So why are you bringing it up?"

"Because I need you to start digging into his background, quickly. If you're right, we need to know it first." CJ nodded. Just then they heard two quick knocks on the door and Carol stuck her head in.

"I hope I'm not interrupting."

"It's ok," CJ replied.

"They're doing the seating arrangements for the dinner and last week you mentioned Ben might be coming?" CJ felt a brief flash of guilt as she shook her head.

"He had a thing for work. Someone's retirement party," she lied. Toby shot her a sideways glance and she wondered if he'd picked up something in her tone.

"Ok. And I'm having Tricia go by your place to pick up your dress. You still want to go with the dark purple Donna Karan?"

"That'll be fine." Carol wrote something in her notebook and headed out. When she was gone, Toby tilted his head to one side.

"So, everything ok with Ben?" he asked quietly. CJ gave him a tight smile. She fully intended to lie, but maybe it was the exhaustion that prevented her from making something up.

"I don't know if it's going to work," she replied honestly. She swallowed. "It's just too…easy." She cringed because she knew it probably sounded stupid.

"That's bad?"

"You know Carol calls him 'Gentle Ben'? And he is. He's gentle and kind, but I get the feeling that I could kill his dog and he might be a little sad, but he'd forgive me. I didn't even tell him about tonight because I knew he'd hate it. He'd pretend to like it, but he'd hate it. It's too easy."

There. She'd said it. And that was what Toby had been after. He'd stopped giving her advice on her boyfriends ever since she'd told him off about Josh, but he still had the same uncanny way of dragging the truth out of her when she didn't want to realize it herself. She loved and hated that about him.

He shrugged. "If you're looking for a man who's going to like spending time with the French President, it might be tough," he observed wryly, lightening the mood. The edges of CJ's mouth quirked into a smile and she shook her head.

"We done? I have some calls to make."

"Yeah," Toby exhaled. CJ picked up the phone and began dialing.

"Carol!" She called, covering the receiver as she waited for someone in the press office to pick up. "Toby wasn't kidding about the coffee."

* * *

Arriving at the State Dining Room that evening, the first person she saw was Donna, standing in the doorway, wearing a black, sleeveless, satiny ball gown and holding a glass of white wine. A string ensemble was playing some quiet classical music in the background.

"Hi CJ," she said, turning to face her, "You look nice." CJ was wearing an aubergine strapless evening gown with subtle beading on the bodice and a slight flare to the skirt.

"Thanks. You too," CJ said with a smile, "Waiting for Josh?"

"Yeah. He's not going to be happy. He's up at the table with the Presidents."

"Oh God. Please tell me I'm not." Donna laughed.

"No. We're at another table with Toby, Kate, and some other people." CJ shook her head. "No Ben tonight?"

"He had a thing, and it's not really his scene anyway." Donna nodded sympathetically.

"Hey." Both the women turned to see Josh standing there. CJ went up to him and straightened his bow tie.

"You're looking very handsome tonight, Mr. Lyman." Josh smiled.

"Thanks," he said as his eyes swept over her in return, "You look good, too." Then he added, "You too, Donna."

"Donna was waiting to give you the heads up that you're sitting at the table with our friend le President," CJ said, lowering her voice in case anyone could overhear. Josh rolled his eyes.

"Great," he said sarcastically.

"How's your head?" CJ raised a finger to brush the fading scratch on his forehead.

"Fine, but I'm telling you Winston's got it in for me."

"Winston?"

"The cat."

"I see." Just then, Donna interjected.

"I think they're starting to bring around the first course. We should go sit down." CJ nodded.

"Well make sure you catch me for a dance later," she remarked to Josh before going to follow Donna.

"Ok," Josh accepted with a smile. CJ found her way to her seat between Toby and Donna. She waved at Kate, who was sitting across the table in a dark green dress. Kate smiled back and went back to chatting to the Canadian Ambassador, who had been seated beside her with his wife.

"Hey," Toby said to CJ, "I didn't see you at the reception."

"Yeah," CJ said in a low voice, "I was working on that thing for my cousin. How was it?" Toby shrugged.

"Fine. Did you find anything, about the thing for your cousin?" CJ shook her head.

"No, but something doesn't feel right about it." Toby frowned, but then he felt a tap on his shoulder from the Canadian Ambassador's wife and he turned to answer her. Donna was talking to the Senator sitting next to her. CJ leaned back in her chair and looked around the room. She saw Josh listening to the French President's wife, looking like he was about to fall asleep. For a second his eyes flickered up and he saw her looking at him. He rolled his eyes almost imperceptibly and she grinned.

* * *

"Claudia Jean. Don't you look lovely," observed Abbey Bartlet later, coming up to CJ in the East Room.

"Thank you, ma'am. So do you," CJ replied. The First Lady was wearing a dark blue taffeta gown and holding a glass of champagne.

"You alone tonight? I saw you dancing with Toby earlier."

"It's not really Ben's type of thing," CJ explained. Abbey raised her eyebrows.

"Well it's not really my type of thing either, but I wouldn't get away with using that as an excuse."

"I didn't tell him about it," CJ admitted. Abbey frowned. CJ was wondering if she was about to get another in-depth questioning about her relationship when out of the corner of her eye she spotted Josh leaning against the wall, still having his ear talked off by the French President's wife. He was gulping his glass of red wine and not even trying to look interested anymore. "Excuse me, ma'am," CJ said, touching Abbey's elbow, "I have to go rescue Josh." She crossed the dance floor towards him and gently inserted herself between him and the woman.

"Excuse me, Madame LaBerge," she said, "I'm CJ Cregg. I'm very sorry to interrupt but I just need to borrow Josh for a minute. The woman looked surprised, but nodded.

"Of course. Zank you for sharing your opinions on zis very important matter, Monsieur Lyman"

"You're welcome, Madame. You know who you should really take this up with? Toby Ziegler. He knows all about organizing these types of events. I think I see him over there," Josh replied, pointing. CJ led him away by the elbow. When they were a few feet away Josh sighed with relief.

"Thank you. I owe you one."

"What was she talking about?" CJ asked.

"I don't even know. She started asking about helping French automobile exports but then she went into talking about a pet project involving an international fashion show she's putting on and that she wants President Bartlet to attend." CJ laughed.

"And you sent her to ask Toby about organizing a fashion show? That's just mean." Josh shrugged.

"You know they say LaBerge is the tough one to spend time with, but I'm telling you, it's a cake walk compared to spending time with his wife."

"Well at least now I can safely say you're spending time with someone more tolerable."

"You can't even compare the two of you," he said sincerely. "Did I mention you look great tonight?" Josh continued. CJ bit her lower lip, smiling. She took his now empty wine glass and set it down on the table behind them, then took his hand.

"I think you owe me a dance, Monsieur Lyman," she said, leading him out onto the dance floor. He slipped his arm around her waist and she put her arm around his neck. They moved to the music slowly around the dance floor, looking into each other's eyes. CJ registered the mild, fresh smell of Josh's aftershave. The scent and the warmth of his arms caused her to briefly flash to a memory of him standing behind her in her kitchen, his arms wrapped around her waist as he kissed her neck.

"So how did you get talked into cat-sitting? No offense, but you don't seem like a typical candidate," CJ observed.

"My neighbor, Maria. You can't say no to her. And she really likes the President. Actually, she really likes you, too. She's always saying she thinks you look nice on TV."

"But how do you make sure he gets fed?"

"He has one of those automatic feeders and everything. It's the constant meowing and scratching that's the hard part. He's long-haired and I swear to God, when this week is over I should just buy a new apartment because my furniture and clothes are never getting clean." CJ laughed. "You should see for yourself," he added.

"Maybe I will."

"So Leo said Toby's got you looking into Lau. Dig anything up yet?" Josh asked, changing subjects.

"Not yet, but I've just got this feeling, you know?"

"How could there be something that everyone's missed?"

"I don't know."

They kept dancing and talking for another song, then Leo cut in and borrowed CJ for a dance. CJ didn't know why, but she kept glancing around the room to see where Josh was as she decided to stop dancing and head over to the side of the room to talk with some people. At one point when she was having a conversation with Kate, CJ saw Josh dancing with Donna, but when she was finished with Kate, she couldn't see him.

Servers were starting to pack up empty wine glasses and CJ vaguely registered it was time to leave. She felt a hand on her elbow and turned to see Toby.

"You heading out? Want a ride?" She shook her head.

"That's okay. I'll take a cab, but thanks," she replied with a small smile. She stopped in her office to grab her coat and her briefcase and call a cab, then walked out to the gates to meet it.

Maybe it was the wine, which was making her head feel fuzzy, but she almost didn't realize that she had given Josh's place as her destination until the taxi pulled up outside his building. She paid the driver and ascended the stairs. Briefly she wondered if he might already be asleep, but she decided he couldn't have left much earlier than her. She pressed the buzzer.

Josh opened the door, still in his tux. His bow tie was hanging undone around his neck.

"CJ?" She smiled.

"I hope it's not too late. I just thought I'd stop in quickly to meet your feline houseguest. Who knows if I'll get another chance this week." Josh looked skeptical and the look made CJ almost regret coming. She wondered if he was going to call her on how dumb that sounded, but he didn't.

"Come in. You just caught me before I strangled him. He broke a mug." CJ stepped in. "Let me take your coat." CJ handed it to him and stepped out of her heels. He hung her coat on a hook by the door and headed into the kitchen, where he gestured to a bottle of wine sitting open on the counter. "Want a drink?"

"Sure, thanks." While Josh poured their drinks, CJ went over to the couch, where the cat was sitting. Tentatively, she sat down beside him. The cat looked up and immediately started purring. He stepped into CJ's lap and nudged her hand with his head.

"Nice kitty." Josh took off his suit jacket, hanging it over a chair, then brought over CJ's glass of wine and sat beside her.

"I can't believe it. He likes you," Josh said in disbelief. CJ took her glass and petted the cat lightly with her other hand."

"What's his name?"

"Winston." Winston curled up in CJ's lap, purring happily as she petted him.

"You're kind of cute, Winston," she said to the cat. Josh cautiously reached over to scratch Winston behind the ears. Immediately the cat lashed out and tried to scratch him on the hand, but Josh pulled away in time.

"Jesus!" Winston jumped off CJ's lap and scampered away.

"Wow," CJ said, "You weren't kidding about that whole arch-nemesis thing." She looked up at Josh and saw him staring at her, as if he was concentrating hard. She put her wine glass on the coffee table and turned towards him. "Josh?" She could see him looking at her lips and she couldn't decide whether she should try to stop what she thought was about to happen. He leaned in and kissed her and the touch of his lips made her momentarily lose her senses. She kissed him back tentatively at first, then with more passion as the memories came back of their time together two years ago. But when he didn't back off she started feeling more conflicted and uncomfortable. She pushed him away.

"Josh!" she said, a hint of anger in her tone.

"What?" She thought Josh looked confused, and maybe even a bit hurt.

"I can't do this." Josh stood up.

"Wait a minute. You're the one who came over here. What are you saying?"

"I can't believe you," CJ replied defensively as she stood up from the couch. "You're the one who broke up with me two years ago, then nothing. You drop it. And now you're coming back when you know I'm seeing Ben? I'm not interested in being here so you can one-up him and then leave when you've had your fun. I'm with Ben. This can't happen between us again. I'm happy," she argued, voice rising.

"Are you?" Josh asked, anger rising in return, "Because I'm pretty sure no one would buy that you came over here to meet the cat."

"I don't want to do this with you," CJ continued, resignation entering into her tone.

"I don't think you know what you want," Josh snapped. CJ stormed to the door and grabbed her shoes and coat, afraid if she stayed that she'd really lose control. Josh just stood in the living room, looking defeated.

"Have a good night," she said, still angry.

"How are you getting home?" Josh called after her.

"I'll manage," CJ replied tersely as she headed out the door, slamming it behind her.


	3. A Smile for Every Thunderstorm

"Josh? Hello? Josh?"

Josh blinked, registering the fact that Donna was standing in front of his desk, trying to talk to him. He'd been thinking about the night before with CJ, mostly that kiss and how good it had felt before she'd pushed him away.

"Sorry. I just kind of...spaced out there." Donna cocked her head to one side, looking at him with concern.

"Are you okay?" Josh smiled thinly.

"Yeah." What was he supposed to say?

"Okay," Donna said, a hint of suspicion in her voice. "Leo wants to know where you're at on the fish farm vote."

"We just need two more votes and I think I can get them, but Hale and McConnell are holding out unless we agree to support their amendment. Tell Leo we're going to need to bring it up at Senior Staff." Donna nodded and made a note. As Donna ran through the list of messages he had to return, Josh kept glancing over her shoulder to see if he could catch CJ walking by. He wanted to see if she still looked angry so he could be prepared when they got into Senior Staff in a couple of hours. Today was one of those days he wished Sam was still around. As he half-listened to Donna and made some notes about the messages he thought about adding Sam to the list of people to call. A moment later he scratched that idea as he realized they hadn't talked in months and Sam probably wouldn't appreciate him phoning up just to ask his advice about CJ. He could imagine what he'd say, anyway: "Wow. What were you thinking?"

Josh would have to explain how he'd gone to bed the previous night frustrated, sure that he was right. If she'd just wanted to see the cat, why did she come over so late? Why did she kiss him back like that? The cat wasn't that exciting.

But as he'd laid there he'd started having doubts. Maybe Amy had been right: he was hit and run. Isn't that what he'd done to CJ the first time?

As if on cue he looked over Donna's shoulder to see CJ walk past his office door, wearing a grey skirt and light pink blouse. She didn't look in but he kept staring at the doorway for a couple of seconds after, trying to think if he could tell if she looked angry. He realized he couldn't. Donna paused.

"Josh?" She turned to see what he was looking at and saw the empty doorway.

"Sorry. I just thought I saw something."

"This whole cat sitting thing is really affecting your sleep schedule, huh?" Donna observed. Josh nodded absently. "Let me know if you need any help." As Donna capped her pen, Josh's eyes snapped up to the doorway again as he saw Ben walk by, heading in the direction of CJ's office. Donna whirled around and saw what Josh was looking at. As he passed by, Ben glanced in and gave a little wave when he saw them looking. Josh smiled tightly and Donna gave an awkward wave. As soon as he'd passed, Donna turned back to Josh.

"What was that about?" she asked bluntly.

"Nothing," Josh insisted. But seeing Donna's look of disbelief, he relented. "CJ came over after the dinner and I sorta...kissed her."

"You what?" Donna screeched.

"Shut the door," Josh said, hoping no one had heard her outburst. Donna obeyed.

"You kissed her?" Donna repeated, lowering her voice.

"Yeah and she kinda freaked out."

"Well, yeah!"

"She came over. It was late. What was I supposed to think?"

"That she has a boyfriend?" They were both silent for a moment. Then Donna considered, "Actually, that's never really stopped you before, has it?" Josh shrugged.

"Not really. But whenever I step in I've been right about the other guy."

"If things aren't going well with CJ and Ben you have to let her deal with it. You're her friend: you owe her that."

"I know," Josh admitted.

"So you're going to apologize?" Josh mumbled, "I guess so," nearly inaudibly, and pretended to look through some papers. "Next time you see her?" Donna continued pointedly.

"Yeah," Josh conceded with a sigh.

He was running late by the time he got to Leo's office for Senior Staff and he hadn't had a chance to talk to CJ. Now there she was, sitting on the couch with Toby, Leo in the armchair, all of them with heads bent together, looking grim. They looked up when he entered and he felt a brief pang of anxiety as his eyes briefly met CJ's.

"Hey. Sorry I'm late. What's going on?" he said quietly.

"Shut the door," Leo said, gesturing. Josh did, then came and sat down in the other chair, next to Toby.

"CJ has a source that says Lau's being investigated for violating election spending regulations when he ran for California's AG eight years ago," Toby stated quietly.

"That's crazy. What source?" Josh demanded.

"Greg Brock says someone from the FBI gave him the tip," CJ replied quietly.

"I miss the days when the FBI leaked information to us before the press," Leo observed wryly.

"Is he going to run the story?" Josh asked. She shrugged.

"If Lau's not our pick, he might not."

"Might? I'm pretty sure he's going to want to write about the incompetence of our vetting process. We pick someone else, you don't think people are going to have questions about why we didn't go through with Lau?" Toby argued

"Wait a minute," Josh interjected, "How serious is this? I mean are we talking a paperwork screw-up?" He could feel his anxiety mounting, envisioning another pitched, months-long nomination battle when they had so many other important things to focus on.

"It seems like there was an unauthorized pamphlet sent out to Hispanic households, alleging his opponent was planning on legalizing drugs and prostitution," Leo explained.

"And it came from him?" Josh asked in disbelief.

"The FBI seems to think it at least came from someone on his campaign," CJ replied. Josh stood up, feeling agitated. He ran a hand through his hair.

"We have two days until the announcement," he stated, starting to pace.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," CJ replied flatly. Josh turned around and stared at her.

"And why did you think it would be a good idea to give Greg Brock the story? If this is going to come out, the last thing we need is for it to be coming from the New York Freaking Times." CJ stood, eyes flashing.

"I didn't give him the story. He _had_ the story. Leo asked me to see if anyone had dirt on Lau; that's what I did. Everyone in this room knew I was doing it, and now you're saying this is my fault? How about the fact that you and Toby wanted to rush into a confirmation without vetting the guy, and then he turns out possibly being a creep? No, I guess you'd rather we'd waited until the confirmation hearings started to get our pants pulled down," CJ railed. Josh just stood there, stunned for a minute. He knew she was right, and he'd just put his foot in it after he'd promised himself he'd be trying to make her less angry. Before he could respond, Leo held up his hand.

"Ok. Whatever this is about, fix it on your own time. CJ, no one's blaming you. You did good finding this information. Now I have to take it to the President and see if he's willing to stick with Lau. Who's our second choice if not?" Everyone exchanged looks.

"Russell wants Caroline Black," Toby said quietly. Josh sighed inwardly.

"I'm tired of compromising for Russell," he said.

"Me too," Leo admitted. CJ nodded.

"The other name we considered was Nelson Rivera," Toby stated.

"We didn't pick him first because he's taken some pretty vocal liberal positions on some issues," Josh reminded.

"I'd rather defend someone who cares about the issues than someone who might be a criminal," CJ said. Everyone nodded, reluctantly agreeing.

"I'll take both Rivera and Black's names to the President. Then I'll call Lau," Leo announced.

"If I need something to get Greg to move off the story, can I offer him an exclusive with the new pick?" CJ asked. Leo nodded his assent before standing up and going back to his desk, showing the meeting was over. Josh stepped to one side and looked down at the carpet as Toby and CJ left, then he followed CJ down the hall, a few steps behind. She glanced back and saw he was behind her, but didn't say anything. He followed her into her office and shut the door behind him. She went around to the other side of her desk, but didn't sit down.

"Josh," she began in a tired voice, but he interrupted her before she could continue. He wanted to get the apology done as quickly as possible and get out of there before she had a chance to yell at him

"Look, I'm sorry for what I said at the meeting..."

"Josh?" she repeated with a sigh.

"I know you weren't trying to give Brock a story so I don't even know why I said that...

"Josh."

"And last night. I shouldn't have done that. But you have to admit that the cat isn't that exciting, so I don't know if it's really fair to blame me for thinking..."

"Josh!" He stopped, finally realizing she wasn't going to let him just go first. He tried to prepare himself for the tirade he was sure was about to come his way.

"You were right," she said simply. Josh did a double-take.

"Sorry, what?"

"Not at the meeting. You were an idiot at the meeting. But last night, you were right. I didn't come over to see the cat, and I didn't know what I wanted."

"You didn't?"

"I broke up with Ben this morning," she announced, coming around to the front of the desk. As he started to register what she was saying, Josh felt a prickling of excitement break through his disbelief. He couldn't resist the smile that was starting to spread across his face. "Well you don't have to look so happy about it," she added, registering the look.

"Sorry. I mean, that's terrible," he said, looking serious.

"My heart wasn't in it, and it wasn't fair to him."

"Ok." Josh took a step towards her.

"We screwed up two years ago," she stated, leaning back slightly.

"Ok?" Josh wasn't sure what she was getting at.

"We never talked about things. I don't want the only reason I'm sleeping with you to be because I feel like I have to work off the stress of the job."

"Wait, you want to sleep with me?" Josh grinned. CJ rolled her eyes and gave a little smile.

"I want to _date_ you. Like normal people." He considered that this could be a chance to show he had the potential to be more than just hit and run. CJ was right that they'd screwed up; maybe she was right that they could fix it. "Do you want to try this thing again?" she asked, leaning in towards him. `

"Sounds good." Her smiled broadened.

"Good, because I think I'm going to kiss you now." She leaned in and his reply, "good", was smothered as their lips met. There was a dreamy intimacy to the kiss. He slipped his arms around her waist and she brushed his cheek with one hand. When they pulled apart Josh whispered, "I missed you" before he'd even realized he meant it. CJ smiled.

"I was here." Josh took her hand and squeezed it.

"I know."

* * *

**I'll try to update as soon as possible but I'm super busy these days. Let me know what you think so far!**


	4. The Beautiful Mess I Made

Carol came into CJ's office to find her boss sitting at her desk, looking into Gail's bowl, a smile on her face.

"What do you think, Gail?" CJ asked.

"Everything okay?" Carol asked. CJ looked up, startled.

"Yes. What's up?"

"It's just that Ben was here and when he left he looked pretty angry. And then you seemed pretty angry. And then Josh was here and now you're talking to your fish." CJ leaned back.

"Some days Gail's the only one who understands me. What's up?"

"Well, I just wanted to know if you wanted me to take your lunch date with Ben tomorrow out of your schedule." CJ sighed.

"Carol, I had just managed to kind of put the Ben thing out of my mind for the afternoon. You know sometimes that sixth sense of yours is kind of annoying."

"What happened?"

"It wasn't going to work," CJ stated.

"Did he break it off?"

"I did." Carol looked disappointed. After a pause, she asked, "How did he take it?"

"It wasn't the reaction I expected," CJ replied. She opened a folder of papers that was sitting in front of her. "I'll take the lunch out of my schedule. Can you tell Greg Brock I need to see him after the afternoon briefing?"

"Ok." Carol gave CJ a little smile on the way out the door. "You're ok?" CJ nodded.

"I'm great."

That morning she couldn't have predicted the words "I'm great" would be coming out of her mouth that day. Even though she'd emailed Ben to ask him to come by, when he showed up her heart jumped into her throat. It didn't help that he'd turned up right after Greg Brock had left. She owed Ben more than a sloppy brush-off but her mind was elsewhere.

"Hey," Ben said, leaning in to give her a gentle kiss on the cheek. CJ pulled back.

"We had a State Dinner last night," CJ blurted out. Ben looked confused.

"Great. Did you have a good time?" he asked. CJ moved past him to shut the door, checking to make sure the blinds were closed as well.

"Yes, but I didn't invite you because you would've hated it," she elaborated. Ben smiled.

"You're right." CJ sighed inwardly. She put a hand on his arm.

"That's not the point. I lied to people and told them you were busy. And I didn't even ask you to go." Ben furrowed his brow. "I'm trying to say I'm sorry but I can't do this with you. I thought I was ready. You're great, but you're so nice. You deserve someone nicer than me." His reaction was not what she expected. He pulled back from her touch, hands clenched.

"You're crazy, CJ," he said, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry," she said sympathetically.

"I'm too _nice_ for you?" His jaw was clenched.

"I know it doesn't make sense..." she began.

"You're right, it doesn't. I would've gone to the dinner with you if you would've asked!"

"That's the point, Ben! You would've done something you hate and not said a thing! It's the nice thing to do but it's also just a bit dishonest!" As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she regretted them. She had just broken her resolution not to raise her voice, to avoid laying blame unfairly at his feet.

"Dishonest? Because I would accommodate your job? You're the one who just said you lied to her coworkers and me because of some stupid event!" She swallowed.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that," she said softly. It was all she could say. Ben sighed.

"Can't we just forget about the dinner, CJ? I would've hated it. I'm not upset that you didn't tell me about it." CJ shook her head sadly.

"No. Don't just forget about it. Don't forgive me. You deserve someone who has more time for you." The way Ben nodded indicated maybe the idea wasn't completely new to him.

"What about you?" he asked after a lengthy pause.

"I'll be fine." They stood awkwardly for a few seconds, then CJ said, "Look. You should go. I'm sorry but there's this thing I really have to deal with. I was just working on it when you got here." She went around to the back of her desk and busied herself with some papers. Ben nodded.

"Ok. Well, maybe keep in touch," he suggested as he reached for the doorknob to let himself out.

"Yeah," CJ replied noncommittally. As soon as Ben had left she took a deep breath and tried to focus on the situation with Lau, trading the thought of one unpleasant situation for another. She headed to Senior Staff early, hoping she'd be able to catch Leo before the meeting started. But when she got to his office, Margaret said he was in the Oval.

"Is everything okay?" Margaret asked, and CJ realized she probably didn't look too happy.

"Well I'm the biggest jerk in the West Wing, but yeah," she said with a shrug. Margaret looked at her seriously.

"No. The consensus is that that's Josh. I mean we love him, but he's definitely the biggest." CJ smiled.

"Well, Margaret. I think I may have surpassed even Josh on this one. Anyway, I'll come back for the meeting."

"Toby's here already," Margaret volunteered. CJ looked in and saw Toby watching her. He gave a little wave. She headed inside and took a seat next to him on the couch.

"You're early," she observed.

"I was talking with Leo but he got called out. I thought I'd just wait. So did you hide Will's glasses again?"

"What?"

"I'm just trying to figure out what makes you the biggest jerk in the West Wing." She rolled her eyes.

"I ran your underwear up the flagpole," she joked. He smiled but continued looking at her with a penetrating stare until she sighed.

"I broke up with Ben. I made him come here so I could break up with him between meetings."

"You're okay?" She nodded.

"Yeah. I'm okay, just a jerk."

"You had the courage to break it off when it felt wrong. That's something I've never been good at." CJ laughed.

"Well I'm practically an expert by now."

"Now you just have to find the courage to go after it when it feels right," Toby continued. The words struck her and a thought came into her mind. She grabbed Toby's hand and squeezed it.

"Thank you!" she effused. Toby looked quizzically at her.

"Okay...?" As he said it, Leo walked in, looking harried, Margaret at his heels. CJ quickly became serious, remembering why she'd come early. One thing was for sure: nobody was going to be happy about the news she had.

"You feel good about Rivera?" Josh asked CJ. They were sitting at a table on the sidewalk patio of a little Mexican restaurant in Arlington, where they'd gone for dinner after work.

"I feel great after how he handled himself in the press conference today," she confirmed, "Did you see how he fielded that question about affirmative action?" Josh nodded and pushed his sunglasses up onto his head.

"Yeah. We got ourselves a winner. Too bad he'll only be in for a year and a half." CJ frowned.

"You think the Republicans will win the next election?" Josh considered while he took a sip of his mojito.

"Even if they don't, I can't see Russell re-appointing him. He was pretty pissed about Caroline Black." CJ nodded, then laughed.

"Did you see Toby's face when he told Will?" she said. Josh grinned.

"I think if he thought it'd stop Russell from winning, Toby'd run against him himself." Their food came and CJ took a couple of bites of her chicken flautas. Josh looked at his enchiladas and sighed.

"Everything all right?" CJ asked. Josh blinked and looked up at her.

"Yeah. It's just that we've gotta find someone else. It can't be Bingo Bob." CJ reached across the table and took Josh's hand. "All the stuff we haven't finished…" he trailed off, brushing the back of her knuckles with his thumb.

"I know. It'll happen." Josh squeezed her hand gently in response.

"Let's talk about something that's not related to work," he suggested. CJ raised her eyebrows.

"Well that's something I'm not very good at. What did you have in mind?" Josh considered.

"I don't know. Usually with a girl I just think of some argument I don't really agree with and then let her shoot me down," he joked.

"It's a wonder you're still on the market." She took a sip of her pina colada. She didn't know why she felt nervous now that they'd left the subject of work. She didn't remember feeling as nervous with Josh before, but this time she didn't have the same luxury of pretending this wouldn't go anywhere. "So have you heard from Donna?"

"She's sent a couple emails but I didn't really read them that closely. Seems like she's enjoying it."

"Good. Did your neighbour come get her cat?" Josh rolled his eyes.

"No. Three more days." CJ gave him a sympathetic look. "He liked you," he continued, "You should come over. You can distract him so he doesn't shred my bath shower curtain." CJ paused, suddenly slightly uncomfortable.

"Was that you asking me to play with the cat, or play with you?" Josh laughed in disbelief.

"CJ, I don't know. It's not like I drew up a contract for the evening." CJ frowned, suddenly self-conscious.

"I'm sorry. This is exactly what I was doing a few nights ago, isn't it?"

"Yeah. Pretty much."

"I'm not good at this." Josh smiled.

"Me neither."

"Well this works out well, then."

"So do you want to come over for a bit?" Josh asked after they had paid and CJ was grabbing her coat and purse. CJ touched Josh on the arm.

"I have so much reading to do this weekend. They're going to be scrutinizing Rivera's memos and I want to make sure I find anything before they do."

"We had people look over them. We're still having people look over them."

"I know." Josh pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Do it tomorrow." CJ leaned in and gave him a quick kiss.

"Ok. But only because I like the cat."

It was starting to get dark as they exited the Metro. Josh pointed to a corner store and said, "Um. I have to grab something really quickly." CJ nodded and they crossed the street.

"I'll just wait outside," she said, "It's a nice night." Josh nodded and headed inside. CJ checked her phone to make sure she hadn't missed any calls. Then she folded her arms and turned to face the street, where she noticed a familiar face coming down the sidewalk towards her. She looked around hastily to see if she could make a quick getaway, or maybe just duck into the store, but he'd seen her and he knew she'd seen him.

"CJ?" said Ben. He looked tense but she knew he was too polite to not attempt at least a friendly conversation. CJ forced a tight smile, feeling a mixture of guilt and anxiety. She knew she was probably the last person he wanted to see, and he couldn't have picked a worse time to run into her. _God_, she prayed, _let him leave before he sees Josh_.

"Hi."

"What are you doing all the way out here?" he asked. CJ mentally cringed.

"Oh. I was just out for dinner with a co-worker." As if on cue, Josh came out of the store, carrying a small package of toilet paper.

"Ok, we're set," he said, coming up behind CJ and putting a hand on the small of her back. CJ froze with mortification. "Oh," he said, suddenly noticing who she was talking to. He dropped his hand from her back. A mixture of emotions crossed Ben's face and CJ shut her eyes momentarily, wishing this wasn't happening. "Hi again," Josh said.

"Well I'd better get my laundry detergent," Ben stated, brushing past them into the store.

"Good night," CJ said tentatively to his retreating figure. Then she looked at Josh, who was looking as awkward as she felt. They began to walk towards his place and as soon as they rounded the corner, she said, "Well that was bad timing. He had to be stopping at the same store. Now he's going to be thinking I broke up with him because of you."

"You didn't. Although I am hoping you think I'm a bit of an improvement," he joked.

"I don't know. Am I to take from your purchase that you were out of toilet paper at home?" she asked with a grin.

"Donna usually reminds me to go shopping for that kind of thing."

"Yes. What a catch you are," CJ teased, nudging him with an elbow. They walked up the steps to his door and before he put the key in the lock he turned to her and pulled her into a deep, lingering kiss. She brought her hand up to tangle in the hair at the back of his neck, feeling warmth spreading through her as he deepened the kiss. After a minute they pulled apart. CJ felt almost light-headed. She'd told herself she wasn't going to rush in and sleep with him again but here she was at his door. She wanted this.

"Mmm. What was that for?" CJ asked as Josh put his key in the lock.

"To make you remember why you picked me." CJ smiled.

"There's that and how good you look in a tuxedo." They stepped inside and as CJ was slipping off her heels, the cat came running up to her and rubbed at her ankles, purring. CJ bent down and scratched him behind the ears. Josh rolled his eyes.

"Do you want a drink or anything? I have beer and wine." he asked as he put down his keys and the toilet paper.

"I'd go for a beer." Just then, Josh's phone rang and he went into the kitchen to pick it up. CJ went and sat in the living room, followed by Winston, who curled up beside her on the couch. From the kitchen she could hear Josh's end of the conversation and she could tell he was talking to Leo.

"You know, you're kind of cute. I could get used to you. But I don't think Gail would like you," she said softly to the cat. She heard Josh hang up and he came into the living room a minute later with two bottles of beer. He seemed less happy than he had before the phone call. "What's up?" she asked, taking a bottle from him. He sat down next to her, shooing Winston away.

"So you know how on Sunday we had plans to maybe go for a walk?"

"Yeah?"

"Leo says the Majority Leader's having someone introduce a bill on Monday to derail the President's nuclear platform."

"Ok. So you've gotta get back there," CJ said understandingly.

"Not tonight. But yeah, Leo needs me for the rest of the weekend." CJ didn't reply immediately. She took a sip of her beer and snuggled in closer to Josh on the sofa. He put his arm around her. "What are you thinking?" The tone of his voice made her wonder if he thought she was mad at him. She moved back to look at his face. She put her bottle down on the coffee table then, without responding, took his bottle out of his hand and set it down. Then she climbed up so she was straddling him on the couch.

"I was thinking about why my idea to date like normal people was really stupid."

"It wasn't stupid," Josh began but his words were smothered on her lips as she bent down to kiss him slowly, as if she was memorizing his lips. He slipped his hands up underneath the back of her shirt, pulling her towards him, reminding himself how soft her skin was. She began to unbutton his shirt, fumbling fingers working their way down. She pulled back for a minute to look at what she was doing and Josh whispered. "But this is good, too." She smiled.

Josh's fingers found their way to work on the clasp of her bra under her shirt. She pulled away for a moment to yank her shirt off, her bra coming with it. He used the moment to shift positions and lay her down on the sofa. She gasped as Josh's hand closed over her breast. She reached up and took his shirt off him, pulling it down his arms as quickly as she could. Josh moved down to kiss her neck. CJ glanced to the side and noticed Winston the cat was perched on the armchair, watching them, tail twitching back and forth.

"Um, Josh?" she said. Josh looked up and CJ nodded towards the cat. "Can we go into the bedroom?"

"Sure." He climbed off her and led the way into his room. He pushed a book and some papers off the bed onto the floor as CJ shut the door behind them. "Sorry," he said, gesturing to the mess.

"Don't worry about it," she replied, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Mine's not much better." With a wicked grin on his face he gripped her hips and lifted her up onto the bed. Her body glowed with sexual anticipation and her fingers danced down his chest as he moved on top of her. She reached down to undo his pants, pulling them down his legs. He bent down to take off his socks as she began to wrestle with the clasp at the back of her skirt. She got it undone and as she slid it off he bent down and took a nipple in his mouth. She pushed herself farther into his mouth. He moved back so he could see and ran a hand down her firm stomach to her hips, where he pulled off her underwear. She could feel him hard against her thigh through his briefs and she reached a hand down, making him moan.

"CJ," he said, voice husky, and he slid a finger into her. She threw her head back.

"Oh God," she whispered, pulling off his briefs. He stopped touching her for just an instant as he got a condom from the night stand. And then the distance was closed. They rocked against each other in a frantic pace almost shouting each other's names, their throats sore. CJ came first and he followed close behind, collapsing on top of her momentarily before rolling off. He tossed the condom in the garbage by the bed then lay back down and took her in his arms. They lay there, spooning and CJ whispered, "I wish you didn't have to work tomorrow."

"Me too."

"I still want to go on dates with you," she clarified.

"Good. Me too."

"I just couldn't hold off on this part."

"Me neither." CJ turned around to face him and returned his smile.

"I could say pretty much anything right now and you'd agree, right?" Josh shrugged.

"Well I was telling the truth on those things, but yeah." She smirked.

"I'll have to remember that."


End file.
